I have to write a damn short story for school; rate my opening paragraph+should i give up yet?

Held taught between two palm tree dimples was a bone hammock. Above this, a fin cascading across a furry white beach, and further above still, between the edges of this great fin were two eyes; the eyes of a god surveying a serene beach. Above that, the wings of a bird non-existent, but clearly, if it was there: a bird of prey. This was the face of the grand model extravaganza, El Luchio; a face of infinite relaxation with an underlining sensation of menace, with, despite all, the radiance of an impending attack.


“Bah!” he spat his mango juice out, delicious as it was. “My spectacles, a poor decision surely, for they magnify my godly stare, and thus burnify the ladies’ cheeks-“


“Blushing!” explained his pet monkey, Chirb.


“Indeeditly,” winked Luchio to him, “but,” and he waved his arms around to the empty beach, “they have all fled.”


“Then lets play beach cricket,” suggested Chirb, and they did so.

I have to write a damn short story for school; rate my opening paragraph+should i give up yet?
Don't give up you have a vivid imagination, and that is rare.


What you need to do since this is for class, is check your spelling, and take out the made up words and save them for when you are writing to sell a book rather than get a grade.


there is some amount of cooperation with the English language and brown-nosing for teachers that doesn't apply in the real world.

loops