Shoot the monkey! - Is this worthy of some stars???

A lady is eating breakfast out on her patio one morning, when she notices a massive gorilla climbing up her palm tree. This sight scares her so she runs inside her house. Trying to figure out what to do she grabs the yellow pages and looks it up. Sure enough right in the yellow pages is a big ad for gorilla extractors. She calls the number and the man on the other end of the line says he'll be right over. When he shows up he explains to the lady that it is a pretty common problem and it should only take a few minutes. First he must get his equipment. So from his truck he grabs a stepladder, a shotgun, an eight foot pole, handcuffs and a dog. The lady exclaims, "What the hell is all that stuff for?" The gorilla extractor explains, "First I climb up on the stepladder and ram this here pole up the gorilla ***. This will cause the gorilla to fall from the tree at which point that mean *** dog will bite the gorilla in the balls. This temporarily paralyzes the gorilla. At which point I put

Shoot the monkey! - Is this worthy of some stars???
You got me there Star!!
Reply:LOL! Funny! Here`s your star!
Reply:Sure an oldie but a goody
Reply:SHoot the gorilla is not it?
Reply:ummmmm........


good


**STAR**


this is for you


A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.


The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"





and this too.....





Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.


One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.





When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.





When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."





Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"