Red my novel please!not yet finish!rate it!thanx?

Three schools of witchcraft and wizardry built by darius kaiser and the most famous is the darkville castle.He started spreading the dangerous kind of magic called black magic,in this case many tragedy happened.Many people got ill,became crazy and died because the darkvillians(the students study at the darkville)use hexes and jinx.They believe that when they use black magic and turture people they will become more powerful and claim immortal life.


saturday night darius announce at the stadium of the castle,


"students of the darkville!!I congratulates you in your great ability in using black magic!Keep up the good work and all of us will be well known as great dark wizard and witches."


the students clapped and after that darius ordered his servant to gave him a sword.


"i will call the names of the best students!Oscar rasmus,natalia marmaduke,leonard jethro and rex nigel.Please come in front."


"you'll pay for your fault."





Darius shouted, he rapidly CUT the head of four, "drip!! drip..drip..'' the blood splattered at his face dripping down in his black robe.





"all of them are good! good against my law therefore when i know that use other kind of magic except black magic more than there i can do, not only the head but the whole body and i'll make into pieces.'' Darius said angrily at the students. His servant gave him a calming potion. All students petrified!!! their eyes and ears seemed to big because of what they heard and saw.





''student! go now to your respective rooms.''


Alwin augustus said. He is one of school prefect of the castle.





Hezekiah Demetrius one of the student scared because he also using other magic but he make it secret, he decided to escape in his school. He put his all things especially his wand in his bag and he goes out but he seen by a school prefect, the school prefect hurry after him to lock the gate, "totalis invisibilus" Hezekiah cast an invisibility spell so he can drag the school prefect away from the gate without seing. He kicked, punched and smashed the school prefect and ran away.





the school prefect back inside back inside castle and he informed Darius that one man escaped at the gate. Darius warm him that if the event will be kicked out.





Hezekiah run,run and run until he reached one of the village called hortesia (one of the target of the darkvillians). He knocked one of the houses. "Lady can i sleep in your house in this night?'' The lady trembled when she saw Hezekiah's clothes, she suddenly shout and ask help in her neighbor,





"help me, the darkvillians attacking again!"





the people went were the shout from, they have a knives in thier hands,"go away devil dont disturb us! we are sufferingo illnesses because of you! You must be killed!!" one of the villager said. hezekiah dont know what to do,





"ahh...no!no! you dont understand! I escape from darkville because i knew that all the village near the castle suffered death so i told my mind to help all of you! Can you help me too?"





"what kind of help." the old woman asked.





"my intention here is to build a castle so people can study magic and we can fight against darkville."people agree in his plan. they started working from the first shine of sunlight. they easily finished the wall by the help of hezekiah's magic, small piece of time they destine in thier rest to finish the castle fastly as soon as posible.





"im sure we will wait for 2 years until it finish but if the people had a magic like yours maybe 5 months the castle will finish."tom winston said at hezekiah,





"tell the villagers that we will have a meeting tonight. I will teach them how to use magic."





the night comes, the people wait, after a while hezekiah arrived,"good night to all of you before we start please wear this dragon talisman in your neck. This talisman worn by some people belongs to non-magic family to improve the energy of magic in thier body until it goes out. Magic has four elements, wind, fire, water and dark.





after they worn the talisman,





"close your eyes now, open your palms, imagine that the warmth your body going through your palm."





all of them surprised!! thier hands are flaming, little whirl wind in the others, some of them have flow of waters in thier hands. hezekiah wondered why tyron adolphus hiding his hand, hezekiah went to him,





''tyron! Can i see your hand?"





tyron shaking because he scare to reveal his hand, his face is full of sweat and he cant speak.





"i said can i see your hand?dont worry"





but Tyron did not so hezekiah grab his hand. All of them surprised when they saw tyron's hand , wrinkled, long nails, and it has dark skin.





"your mother and father is a dark magician also?"





Hezekiah questioned.





"ahh...i remember that both of them have the same power as the darkvillians have."

Red my novel please!not yet finish!rate it!thanx?
Have you read this yourself? Spell check does work and it is even on this answers site. Read it out loud to yourself, fix what doesn't flow well. No one will look at it as it sits. It is not finished enough. If writing is what you want to do write,write,write the more you do the better it will get. Read books with genres that you would like to write about and get a feel of how those authors write. Join a writers group even if you have to start one at your school. I am assuming you are a student based on the way you write. If you start a group at school you will surprised to find out how many of you there are. You can help each other out and make some new friends along the way.